Yahan Liu
Aging Upstairs
My father’s mother has not been downstairs for almost 15 years now. Perhaps twice per year at most when the family celebrates for example, Chinese New Year outside in the restaurant. She spends most of her time in the balcony looking outisde without purpose.
I lived with her almost until I got married and moved to Denmark. For those nearly 30 years, she has not been living with her most loved grandkid. As in her transitional mindset, my male cousin was always the more preferred one than me. But ironically, we survived each other for so many years with unannounced dissatisfaction of each other.
I took my kids back to China in spring 2024 which was the first time in their life. Every day I woke up in the hard mattress bed with two kids across around. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that the smoked brown celling still never got painted, and there were still a lot of random staff stacked on top of cabinets all the way up to the celling. But i remember that I slept so tight because that was my old bed since I was born and the apartment was the place I still call it home.
My grandmother periodically can not remember me and always asks my father who my kids and I are related to. She is not joining us for food on the table as she kind of forgets why people eat. It is always her kids that force her to eat with the food already served in the bowl to her at a lower sofa and side table since it is easier for her to sit down and get up. At that second, I realised the old aggressive grandmother is gone. No one even dared to start picking food with their chopsticks without her sitting next to the middle of the table in the old time. Now there sits an old lady in the dark corner who needs almost 24 hours surveillance.
At that second I decided to film her. Every objects in this first floor Russian style apartment have its place and are connected to memories and stories. It is my mission to record to let my kids know where I am from and how I grew up.
Fujifilm GFX 100SII, Mamiya 7, Rolleiflex 2.8